


Forgiveness is bitter tasting

by Ja_Levi



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alcohol, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ja_Levi/pseuds/Ja_Levi
Summary: While the past is hard to swallow, the forgiving words of his lead singer taste worse.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Kudos: 29





	Forgiveness is bitter tasting

TW: Past Abuse, Crying, Swearing, Self Hate, Alcohol.

Murdoc nurses his wine glass, staring blankly at the swishing red liquid. He takes a small sip and grimaces, the taste heavy on his tongue. He raises his gaze, glancing at the doorway of the lounge area. A shadow moves slightly closer and blue spiked hair pokes out from the side. "Dee, what do you want? Stop standing there," he gruffly demands.

There's shuffling for a moment before 2-D walks into view. He slowly enters the room, tapping his fingers against the door frame. "I was just coming to check up on you. You haven't been eating lately, just...drinking."

2-D watches as Murdoc downs his wine before he places the glass on the coffee table in front of him. Murdoc stands up and walks closer to 2-D. There's a dull look in Murdoc's eyes and the emptiness makes 2-D frown.

Murdoc looks into the white of 2-D's eyes, staying silent. The air is thick as the two just keep staring at each other. Murdoc finally sighs and rubs his face, resting his back against the cold door frame. "Stop worrying about me, Dee. I don't need your concern. I'll drink if I wish."

The frown on 2-D's face only deepens. "Mud, you only drink like this when something is wrong or when you're having a party. Since you aren't naked and trying to hook up with someone I'm going to assume that something is wrong."

A deep growl leaves Murdoc, making 2-D flinch. "Stop trying to analyse me! Fucking hell, Dee. I'm just...thinking, that's all." Murdoc looks away from 2-D, folding his arms close to his chest. "About what?" Murdoc seems to hesitate before he almost reluctantly responds. "Me."  
"What about you?" 2-D presses, tilting his head gently.

Inhaling quietly, the Satanist only shrugs. "Everything. Who I was. Who I am. How I acted. I've been sorting everything out inside my head. Everything is everywhere and...fuck, it's a mess inside this head of mine." He lets out a pathetic laugh but when he glances at his lead singer he knows that it only causes more worry.

"Do you need help to sort it out?" Murdoc shakes his head, his eyes glossing over a little as he races through thousands of thoughts and memories silently. "No, Dee. You don't need to try and help me. I don't deserve it, buddy."

2-D places a hand on Murdoc's arm, trying to provide some form of comfort for his friend. "Yes you do. You deserve a lot more than you give yourself credit for." One mutter about 'punishment, sure' alarms 2-D. "Murdoc, no. You're not a bad person, stop trying to milk your past. Try and be in the future for once in your life. Sure, sort out and reflect on how you used to be, but don't punish yourself for things that happened a long time ago."

Murdoc shakes his head slightly, swallowing quietly. "Dee, I'm still a bad person. I'll never be a good person. You have the memories to prove what a shitty person I am. I'll never be good and I'll...I'll hurt you again."

2-D places his other hand under Murdoc's chin, keeping Murdoc's head up and he looks into those teary eyes. "No you won't. You won't hit me. You won't scare me. You won't scream at me. You'll be my friend and you'll care about me. Eventually, you'll be my best friend. Until, you have my forgiveness for what you have done. You have my friendship and you have my patience."

The lead singer feels his eyes widen when Murdoc shakes and leans into his touch, tears slipping down that green and tired face. "Oh Mud, it's okay. I forgive you for everything." Murdoc hiccups slightly. 

"Why? Why do you forgive me?"  
"Because I know who you are. I know the person you hide behind those walls of yours. Let me in and let me be your friend. Accept my forgiveness."

Murdoc trembles but he nods slightly, leaning more into 2-D's hands. "I'll try. I'll try to accept it. But I just don't deserve it." 2-D smiles almost tenderly at Murdoc. "Yes you do. You deserve better than punishment and hate. You deserve me. Now tell me what you deserve."

2-D holds Murdoc with his hands, smiling with care when Murdoc silently cries. "I...I deserve your patience. I deserve...I deserve your...your forgiveness," he sobs out, his voice sounding ugly and broken but it makes 2-D smile more. "That's right. You deserve all of it. And I'll remind you that everyday. You deserve it all."


End file.
